Cooking Disaster
by Who am I. Well. I'm just Me
Summary: The guys are definitely not made for cooking T.T... well, at least not these guys.


**COOKING DISASTER**

Mikey had decided his brothers needed to know a little more about cooking… the only thing they knew about the subject was… boil the water. So he decided to teach his brothers something easy.

"Cooking pasta is an art form anyone can learn… so pay attention please. Oh! Before we get started, any questions?" Mikey started.

"Yeh, why did ya have to get me a pink apron?" Raph asked angrily.

"Sorry bro, but it's your fault. Who in the world puts red with white in the washer? Any other questions?... No? Ok, let's gets started. This is an easy recipe and it only takes 20 minutes. What you're gonna need is:

stock pot

pasta

salt

long handled spoon

kitchen timer… got it?" Mikey said. The others nodded.

"Ok, here we go: Fill a large stockpot with water. The more the better - pasta only sticks when cooked in too little water. Add salt; salt makes pasta taste better, use 1 teaspoon per gallon of water. Bring the water to a rolling boil. This means a boil you can't stop by stirring. Measure the pasta you need. Pasta generally doubles in size when cooked, so 1 cup uncooked = 2 cups cooked. Slowly add the pasta to the boiling water. Ideally, the water shouldn't stop boiling, but if that happens, it's ok… Am I going too fast?" Mikey asked.

"Nah, it's ok. Donnie is recording everything" Leo said pointing at Don's recorder.

"I still can't believe da numbskull have some brains for all that information" Raph chuckled.

"Very funny Raph. You should have thanked me I allowed you to some to my kitchen since last time you entered here and destroyed my perfect soufflé!" Mikey said angrily remembering the last time they were on the kitchen all together and accidentally ruined Mikey's dessert.

"We told you we were sorry for that!" Leo said.

"Ok, ok… let us continue, then: Stir and stir some more, pasta will stick together if it isn't stirred during the crucial first moments of cooking. Start timing when the water returns to a boil; most pastas cook in 8-12 minutes. Check the package directions! And… yes Raph… that means _reading_" Mikey teased.

"I'll show ya reading!" Raph got up from his seat waving his fist.

"Raph! Shut up and listen!" Leo stopped him and made him sit again.

"Guys, I'm not so sure we can continue with this; I need to…" Don said but Leo interrupted him.

"C'mon Don, this is like one of your experiments!" Leo said trying to sound cheerful.

"But…" Don insisted.

"Ehem!... May I continue?" Mikey asked a little irritated by the interruption.

"Er… sure. Sorry Mikey" Leo apologized.

"Thanks Leo. Now, you can regulate the heat so the pasta/water mixture doesn't foam up and over the pot sides. Lower it the tiniest bit, and everything should be under control. The only way to tell if the pasta is correctly cooked is to taste it. It should be 'al dente' - firm, yet tender, with a tiny core in the middle, you can also cut into a piece you've fished out of the pot. There shouldn't be any solid white in the center of the pasta - just a shading to more opaque cream" Mikey said.

"Guys, seriously… I need to…" Don said again.

"Don, if you have to go to the bathroom, just do it already!" Mikey said angrily.

"It's not that! It's just…" Don started but Mikey cut him out.

"Then stop interrupting me! Ok…Now drain the pasta into a colander placed into your kitchen sink. Lift the colander and shake off excess water. Don't rinse if you're serving a hot dish. That removes the starch that helps hold the sauce. If you are making a cold salad, rinse so the salad isn't sticky. Now some tips:

By covering the pot when you bring water to a boil, you are lowering the air pressure directly over the water, making it easier to boil.

Never mix pasta types in one pot.

Watch the cooking process carefully. Pasta can overcook very quickly.

If the pasta is to be used in a casserole, undercook it slightly. It will finish cooking to perfection while in the oven or skillet. Class is over! Thanks for the attention… any questions?" Mikey asked.

"Nope. We're ok" Leo said.

"Actually…" Don started but Mikey interrupted him.

"Good! Now, I'm gonna leave you here and you'll do the pasta while I wait in the living room, ok? I hope you got everything" Mikey said.

"In fact…" Don said but was interrupted again.

"See ya guys! And good luck!" Mikey said and left the room.

* * *

"Ok, let's get ready for cooking! Don, put that thing on" Leo said.

"O…k, but there is this liiiittle thing I wanted to…" Don said but Raph interrupted him this time.

"Don, enough with the excuses and turn on the recorder!" Raph said.

"Alright… don't tell me I didn't warn you" Don sighed heavily.

"_Fill a large stockpot with water. The more the better - pasta only sticks when cooked in too little water. Add salt; salt makes pasta taste better, use 1 teaspoon per gallon of water. Bring the water to a rolling boil. This means a boil you can't stop by stirring. Measure the pasta you need. Pasta generally doubles in size when cooked, so 1 cup uncooked = 2 cups cooked. Slowly add the pasta to the boiling water. Ideally, the water shouldn't stop boiling, but if that happens, it's ok…" _The guys did everything the recording said.

"_Stir and stir some more, pasta will stick together if it isn't stirred during the crucial first moments of cooking.__Start timing when the water returns to a boil; most pastas cook in 8-12 minutes. Check the package directions!__ And… yes Raph… that means reading" _the recording continued.

"Stupid kid and his stupid jokes" Raph mumbled angrily as he heard the last part of the recording.

"Hehe… gotta love him for that, though" Leo chuckled.

"Yeh… I guess" Raph said. The three brothers waited 8 minutes for the pasta to cook. Then… nothing but silence could be heard; the recording had stopped.

"So… what now?" Raph asked.

"Don?" Leo looked at his genius brother.

"I told you… I needed to go… to replace the tape! You dumb!" Don yelled angrily.

"You don't have the rest of Mikey's cooking lesson?" Leo asked, his eyes wide opened.

"Shell! We're dead!" Raph slapped his forehead.

"Why you didn't tell us you needed to…" Leo said but… now it was Don's time to interrupt.

"I was telling you but… as always… nobody listens to me!" Don said angrily.

"Well, if yer mouth were faster than yer brain…" Raph said sarcastically.

"Guys, we better call Mikey and ask him for the rest of the instructions" Leo suggested.

"I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do. I'm outta this kitchen forever!" Raph growled as he untied the apron and threw it on the floor.

"You're gonna surrender?" Leo asked.

"This ain't one of our missions, Leo… and ya can thank brainiac and his dumb recorder for that" Raph replied.

"What? Now is my fault? Well, at least I'm not running away like a coward" Don said slamming his fist angrily; unfortunately, his fist hit the pot handle and all the noodles went directly to Raph's head.

"You… are… soooo… dead, Donatello" Raph said giving a deadly glare to his brother as he cleaned his face.

"Er… Chill out! Raph, c'mon… there are just some… harmless noodles on your face…" Don said nervously.

"Oh, I'll show ya noodles… genius" Raph took a handful of noodles and threw it to Don… apparently.

"Guys, you're being…" Leo started but the noodles hit his face instead of Don's. Raph stared at him, mouth wide opened before he started to laugh fiercely.

"So you think this is funny, huh?" Leo mumbled and took some noodles throwing them to Raph's face… but he bent down and the noodles went directly to Don.

"Shell! Donnie, I… I didn't mean it! It was for Raph, I swear!" Leo apologized. Don cleaned his face.

"I know it was for him… and now… he'll regret it!" Don said taking some noodles as well.

* * *

Half an hour later, Mikey still waited for the last results.

"What's taking them so long? That recipe was the easier I had for them" Mikey said to himself.

"Well, it doesn't smell like they burned something so… what could it be?" Mikey asked to himself as he walked into the kitchen.

He just had stepped in when he was hit by a handful of noodles. The others gasped as they saw Mikey's face covered with the food. Mikey cleaned his face and glared at his brothers; anger clearly visible on his face.

"Mikey, we… er…" Leo tried to explain.

"Y-yeah and then…" Raph stuttered.

"But it was… and you know…" Don continued not really knowing what to say.

"GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN… NOW!" Mikey yelled angrily. The three scared turtles left the place as fast as they could.

"Whoa! I'd never seen him so angry before" Raph said.

"None of this would've happened if you'd let me go for a new tape for the recorder" Don sighed.

"So… I guess we're banned of the kitchen, huh?" Leo asked still cleaning his face and chest from all the noodles.

"Well, don't know you guys but I'm hungry… HEY MIKEY! IN DA MOOD FOR A PIZZA?" Raph asked.

"I'LL GIVE YOU PIZZA!" Mikey yelled and started chasing his brothers with a hot pan on his hand.

"Does that… answer your… question, Leo?" Don said panting while he ran for his life.

"We're definitely… not made for… cooking!" Leo panted running as well.


End file.
